Not even silence can replace the screaming in my mind.
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unknownparadiseee aleyska
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lucerosdiary sexcake
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messy hurr.
itscherryamber fuckyeah-dyedhair
You realize that everything the police are doing in Ferguson is carefully calculated, right? They’re purposely turning peaceful protests into riots. They’re purposely committing violence to incite violence. From saying ‘We won’t be answering 911 calls,’ which is a very clever way to set themselves up to be able to say, ‘We were afraid for our safety - any call could really be an ambush, our lives were in danger’ right down to the camouflage and the military tanks and wearing more body armor than a soldier in a war zone. Its exactly why they’re going for a media blackout - yet allowing certain photos through - they WANT you to see their tanks. They want you to see their riot gear. They WANT you to see a war-zone. They’re trying to sell the world the idea that this community is inherently and constantly a source of violence and turmoil - they want you to think that they [the police] are being attacked daily in a place so vicious they need full body armor. You know why? Because then, at the end of the day, you might just be able to believe the story they’re going to spin. They’re going to tell you that this (white) officer goes to work in this war zone every day - that he spends every working moment in constant fear for his life. They’re going to tell you that Michael Brown attacked this officer. And then they’re going to bring up everything that has happened in the aftermath and try to use it to convince you that he shot that little boy because he was afraid for his life. They’re setting up a defense. You mark my words, they’re trying to set up a defense.
• My mom’s take on what’s going on in Ferguson (via actualbanshee)
posted on Aug 19 with bel
actualbanshee sexcake
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wow i never want anyone but her

tanlines4me sexcake

I want to be terrifying in the best ways. I want to say things that make people smile. I want to watch someone I don’t know cry and instead of cringing from the discomfort, I want to pat them on the back and say “someday this will be a memory, and no matter how much it hurts now, that day will come. I promise.” And I want them to believe me. I want to amaze at least one person with my mind because I want someone to turn to me and say “You are not crazy. You are beautiful.” And I want to believe them. I want to read books that astound me, and I want to continue to see life in this new, childlike, mind blowing way that I’ve been seeing it. I want to smoke a lot of pot, and even more cigarettes, but then I want to look down one day and change my mind, and then I want to stop and never look back. I want to remember why I once loved something that now seems silly to me, and I want to love it again. And I want to realise why I shouldn’t love something I’ve been trying to love for so long. I want to go to poetry readings and make friends with the kind of people that just look like they’ll be fun to party with. I want to make art, and scare people with the words that I write. I want to write a book that gives insight into this crazy, fucked up, beautiful life that I’ve had so far, and I want someone to tell me. “Holy shit, that changed my life.” But not because I think I’m worthy of that, but because I hear it’s life changing to change someone else’s life, and I’ve never done that before. I want to experience every moment of my life, and I want to stay up all night because I’m excited to be alive, not because my mind is so terrifying to me, that I’m scared to let it take over. I want so many things, and I guess this is sort of what I was talking about earlier, about decisions. Because I truly think I can at least somewhat make myself the person I want to be. But if I’m honest with myself, I will never be exactly who I want to be, because that woman, hates a lot of the things the girl I am now still cannot let go of. 

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Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.
• Anne Lamott  (via basicbook)
posted on Aug 19 with bel
jerfreyy dancinginthegrocerystore